Years ago I decided that regrets were a bit pointless. I thought it seemed like a waste of time and effort to regret things I had done or not done, things I had said or not said. I couldn't go back and change the past.
Recently I realised that I am actually carrying a huge burden of regrets; not regrets for the past, but regrets for the future. So if my regrets centre on a time that has yet to happen, what is preventing me from changing them? The main answer of course is...me. Even after half my life in therapy, I am still ruled by self-doubt, by fear, by anxiety. I am also a martyr to my nature - I hurt myself rather than hurting other people. Other things that cause me future regret are lack of money and various situations in my life - these situations link in with my comment about hurting myself rather than other people (I wonder who made me responsible for the entire world).
So, what do I regret about the future? I regret that I will never have children. I regret that I will never walk on a foreign beach. I regret that I will never experience the nerves and thrill of a wedding day. I regret that I will never make anyone proud of me. I regret that I will never have that someone to share my life with. I suppose the thing I will regret most is that I will have a whole life unlived.
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