Making a list...

On Thursday, my Facebook status was, 'Prowling for fresh victims. Advice to the gay dudes...make sure your expectations are realistic. Some of your demands might have been okay when you were 30 years younger, but now you should just be grateful that someone doesn't make you wear a bag over your head.'

So having continued to read lists of what everyone absolutely must have in a potential shag...erm, I mean...partner, I have decided to make my own list of musts and must nots.

• Male genitals - kind of obvious, but I thought I had better mention it as I have had some strange offers in the past...like the woman who sent me the message, "You don't need to be gay.  Some of us women like it up the arse".  As icebreakers go, that was a little beyond what I require from anyone and ensured I blocked her
• A pulse - always a plus in a potential match unless you want to date a vampire or a zombie (already had my share of both of those)
• I have a fondness for blue eyes...but other colours are acceptable so long as they aren't black, red, etc.
• I like dark hair - and short hair.  I am not bothered how short it is (bald...stubble...etc.) and quite like it when it has grey in it (or was once dark and is now totally grey)
• Body hair...actually I do have a thing for hairy men - and I mean right up to looking like a gorilla.  Body hair isn't such a huge deal so long as there is some somewhere.  Men are not meant to be waxed and polished to a shine, especially pale ones...they just look like oven-ready chickens
• I don't mind facial hair so long as it isn't an outlandish design or you get mistaken for Gandalf...
• An interest in something, but not an obsession (and not trains)
• Confidence, but not arrogance
• A sense of humour - trust me, you'd need it
• I quite like a dominant guy - not in the realms of being dragged round Asda on a leash in a gimp mask - but a man who can 'take charge'
• Someone who has feet in proportion to their body...men who are six feet tall and yet only take a size five shoe just really weird me out
• A sensible height...like between five feet and six feet six.  I am 5'11" (and a fraction).  I am not going to be wearing high heels any time soon.  Once you pass the 7' mark, you are intimidating (and hard to kiss)
• A bit of meat on your bones...if you only need a long nose and ears to resemble Wile E Coyote, even facing the other way is not going to help...

I am sure there is other stuff I could put on this list, but choosing a person is not an exact science.  At least not for me.