The post in which Nidge talks sex...

I read an online article the other day that was discussing 'gay' terminology.  Having read such things before I am well aware that there are distinctions in the roles gay men take during sex.  From my own limited personal experience I have also found the following to be true:

Bottom or passive = on the receiving end
Versatile/bottom = as above
Versatile = as above
Versatile/top = as above
Active or top = believes it is better to give than to receive (approximately 51% of the time and the other 49% is on his knees whimpering like a new puppy)

So the article I read gave me a new concept, something called a 'total top'.  At no point in time does he wish to be on the receiving end (unless it is of a blow job).  As previously mentioned, my practical experience is limited, but from the men I have known I find it difficult to believe that something such as a 'total top' exists.  I would have put such a man on my Christmas list for Santa but I find it easier to believe that Santa exists!

I suppose I am something of a prude when it comes to sex.  I understand the idea of kink and fetishes and all the rest of it, but personally speaking I have simple needs.  I don't need chemicals (i.e. poppers) to achieve and maintain an erection.  I once got a whiff of them in a nightclub and almost brought my dinner back.  I don't feel the urge to have so many piercings that my intimate regions resemble a Meccano set.  I am sure I will never understand why anyone needs to be zapped by so much electricity during sex that they cause the neighbourhood lights to flicker.

I admit that I like leather...but don't especially want to be clad from head to toe in it during sexual activities, nor do I wish to be strapped in to some sort of arrangement that looks like it is used by cows during calving.  While a bag over my head may be preferable for my partner during sexual relations, I have no desire to be zipped in to a gimp mask.  Anything involving catheters(!) and funnel shaped devices is also on the list of undesirables.  I don't want a crowd watching...I certainly don't want to be videoed...I find it unpleasant having my photograph taken at the best of times.

I am ticklish, so touch me like you mean it otherwise I will laugh (and then punch you) and my nipples are very sensitive, they don't need twisting like you are trying to tune in a 1930s wireless...

What's wrong with tenderness, affection and intimacy?